How To Request Money Instead Of Gifts Birthday

The liver transplant


you: the most common are a person there is!
him, but each person is very unique
you: but I'm different from "everyone"!


solution well met!

xxx: I had a discussion with him
xxx: that is, a discussion ... But how to explain better ...
xxx: he spoke to foreman, and I kept silent and appalled within me about how he was wrong ....

One guy ordered drinks, add a handful of 500 rubles and demand to barrista:
- Which of the girls I recommend to rent tonight?
- The red one. The day I heard her complaining to a friend, who had forgotten clofelina home.


willingly allow men to purchase a commodity to a single condition that the goods they need. So the best customers are treated women.

In Russia it is time to sow in the fields of plantations livers (such as potatoes or beets) x transplants.

Sometimes, after watching a newscast of TV1 become surprised: "But what our country is prosperous." And after watching the NTV news becomes a surprise: "But how fortunate they are to return home alive from the bakery."

In pharmacy:
- Please give me a bag of condoms.
- What size?
- one that fits me!

A man may lie about love. But his penis - not!

If a "thanks!" no gurgling, then you have pushed a "figure you!" instead of "thanks."

- But you're just reading my thoughts!
- It's not that hard. In time, you will learn to read yours!


The illustrations are from the site AddFun.ru

Illegal Balsa Wood Bridges

Sparta


The Mafia of flower vendors:
- A toast then, for a woman as extraordinary, thanks to which the EC do we feed ourselves working one day a year. To Clara Zetkin!

Sometimes when the children were born into the abyss strong and beautiful, they were thrown up, back in Sparta.

I program in Israel was filled in a special computing, which controls all the wires, if they are kosher or not. When the program unearthed a file whose date of creation happens on Saturday, muttering prayers, the program changes the date of its creation on Friday!

classified ad: An experienced private investigator, and soon rinverrà sure why being so contented and happy with her husband.

Macchi told you that the "Democracy" is the power of the people?! Totally wrong! It 's the power of the Democrats!

People were sitting in the middle of a round the cave fire. The suburbs were afraid that the rats were hidden in the cavities of the walls of the cold and slippery cave. Beneath the vaults of stone flew, fast bats.
- Demons! - Seeing people thought.
- Angels! - Thought seeing the mice.
[in Russian bats are called flying rats "]


told me a colleague.
A company of men, made a spree in the apartment of one of them. Tell stories and jokes. But the owner is bleak, they ask guests:
- You've got to tell a. He says, do not tell you anything, but I wonder what makes a woman when he sees a guy with a really big dick?
These are silent, watching each other, waiting for the answer to the riddle joke.
- There! None of you knows. While I know!

An excellent phrase from a cognitive radio: "After death, Captain Chuck was hardly recognizable."

xxx: To me, the example, love to fish, but do not know.
yyy: But which of the two actions of the fish you seem particularly difficult? Pour or drink?
xxx: No, I do not want it! Be escursionismogolico soon!


Le foto sono dal sito AddFun.ru

Cool Signature For Phones

The Navy of the Republic of Kazakhstan


Un commento dal Habrahabr. La discussione di un programma che compone l'orario di giorni critici.
xxx: Bisogna aggiungere al funzionale i profili, perché il programma possa calcolare i cicli x più ragazze. E sarà un hit! Il hit fra i ragazzi =)

- Abram, chi ha inventato la festa di 8 Marzo?
- Cosa ne so io? Clara Zetkin!
- E perché lo ha fatto?
- Cosa ne so io? Forse era venditrice dei fiori!

- Eccoti, Cenerentola, la carrozza, l'abito, le scarpe, in breve: un set completo di tutto il necessario...
- Fata, and not even give me about 500 rubles?
- What to do?
- Pure midnight the carriage will turn into a pumpkin. How do I get back home? On foot, walking? The subway stops running at 01:00. I will be forced to take rates. The trip will cost at least 500 rubles!


The Navy of the Republic of Kazakhstan

News

addition to the women in our rubber sex shops begin to appear, all people of inflatable rubber. They are able to drink it without bursting, so much vodka, how much you should pay to!

My grandfather told it to my dad. During WWII he met a Russian heavy tank No 2 German tanks light. And just at that moment his engine had died! You could not move in any way. The Germans shouting to the Russians, "Hande hoh!" The Russians say, "Gitler kaput." In short, you are placed. The Germans, without thinking much, take our tank in tow, to take him to their staff. When transporting the engine of the Russian tank by the force of a sudden you turn back and trolling No 2 German tanks, despite all their power. The Germans by this turn of events went crazy a bit 'and jumped out of their cars. So we won.

The illustrations are from the site AddFun.ru

Cake Recipe - Handbag

Beware of counterfeits!


Our life is shit. Beware of counterfeits!

It 's very dangerous to meet the woman who understands you perfectly. Usually these events end up in marriage!

According to public opinion polls, the third of Russians think that the Sun goes around the Earth. And every second is safe, that the Earth goes around Putin.

The number of people wishing to establish order in the country is far greater than the number of those who are ready to observe the order.


March 8. Once in a row are forced to lie to the mother-in-law in respect of things I wish.

Ad place:
"marry a man. Any. I'm ready to accept a used one."

To eliminate the traffic jams and road normalize the situation, I propose to change the name of Moscow for Pasca. Restless Life of a satin sheet! The trick

excessive or lack of clothing shows that she is desperate.


The photos are from the site AddFun.ru

Problems At Aravind Eye Hospital Madurai

Japanese cooking


But it can not risotto, rolled in fish and more raw, more of the cost of pork lard, rolled in a newspaper , and more - cool!

A woman, a man and a shop are three things incompatible. But take any pair of these three concepts and you will see how to combine harmoniously!

Elena Malysheva is host of the "Health" is the TV or the radio. And once a radio broadcast it was the women's diseases. "Unfortunately, we can demonstrate to listeners as it made the female vagina." Pause. 'It is true, unfortunately, that we can not even see him on TV. "

- Lord, you feel sick?
- No, I feel good.
- But then, why vomit?
- I can not hold back so much happiness in my inside!

After the long-term relationships the guy says to the girl, who needs sex.
Ragazzo: Vittoria, già 4 mesi siamo insieme e non siamo ancora entrati nelle relazioni serie.
Ragazza: Sandro, ma pure sai, che io non sono dalle tali...
Ragazzo: Non vorrei esserti infedele.
Ragazza: Lo apprezzo, ma non posso.
Ragazzo: Ma come è che non lo capisci: ho bisogno del sesso!
Ragazza: Lo capisco, ma tutti si comportano come te!
Ragazzo: Ti amo!
Ragazza, dopo aver pensato alcuni secondi: Va bene, ma non lo racconterai a nessuno???
Ragazzo: No-o-o, allora non mi serveee!!!


Affissi sulla porta: "La porta è chiusa", "Sì, anche quest'anta!", "La porta è closed! "
Below: Our people are invincible!


Even kings have their problems ...


SOON! on all roads in the country!


My life has come back good!


Hello, I'm the trash!
will find 1000 reasons not to approach her and get acquainted.


The illustrations are from the portal AddFun.ru

White House 202-395-1232

Kaspersky Lab Amphibian


- Have you activated carbon?
- No, we only coal, activated, but you can activate it by sending an SMS with the word "coal" to the number 4242.

job search becomes especially difficult when you have no desire to work.

the situation is more complicated, less charge is the battery of your phone.

application to the mayor of the city of Uriùpinsk:
- As the City seeks to solve the problem of pollen from poplars?
- Like all the other problems in Russia, complaining and whining.

- No, do not travel in the past. We travel from there.

It 's a sin to envy your neighbor with if he (she) can make a Another type of sin.

The new secretary:
- my God, you want time off? And if the question?
- I wonder if atheists are not there.

The clerk of the Kaspersky Lab is unable to return to his house after the expiry of validity of the key.

The son of a friend of mine has developed from high school. When the director of the office where I work asked me if I saw someone in charge for the workshop, I, pleased I have said yes.
- And how old is he?
- 18!
- After thinking a moment, the director said
- No, it will be too young for me ...


xxx: graduates in mathematics, what kind of work do they do?
yyy: working in the engineering industry, sharpen the integrals on a lathe.

- My daughter, when did you stop smoking?
- Daddy, stop immediately when I become pregnant.
- Fuma, my daughter, he smokes ...

Odessa
- Can I rent something cheap, but very close to the sea?
- There is a variant. The perparerò the bed on a beacon.

The selfless love exists. Particularly that of women to men good, cheerful and generous.

- always go how I order my conscience.
- And I, in reverse, I always listen to the voice of reason.

One morning he will wake up and realize that has a tremendous need me, and I, at the same time I wake up with that, those who have learned before him.

seems to me that I'm pregnant: I feel like throwing up from work and I'm drawn to the salty sea.


The photos are from the portal AddFun.ru

Cute Ways To Ask A Guy To Prom With Candy

It happens sometimes that I'm sitting all day in front of the TV screen. And 'boring! But if you turn on the TV will be even worse!

- Overcoming corruption in Russia? Fast and cheap? Any ideas?
- Change names! Both of the one, or the other!

- How do because the banana does not tarnish?
- easy! Do not tan without her panties!

What do I think, if during the first visit to the house of my girlfriend, who does not speak his parrot, imitating the sounds of the bed that creaks?

after the wedding when my wife started complaining about lack of attention on my part, I quoted a Japanese proverb always: "Why feed the fish caught?"

circulating noises that during the riots in Egypt, was stolen from the mummy of Tutankhamun. The analytical opined that they want to resurrect and to appoint the President of Egypt.

Vodka is a drink, and fuel, that runs throughout the country.

I hate to travel by train, it is difficult to drink so much! Buses to hate even more: you can not drink there. The air here is a choice of a modern person! Have you drunk at the airport, and when you wake up - you are already arrived at the destination!


With my wife we \u200b\u200bwent away from home for a few days. The key to the left we have an old neighbor, to feed our two cats. But we forgot to turn off the alarm in our TV, turn it off at 8:00 and 12:00. But that's okay, it's just bad. The day after the close call, scared, my husband and told him
- quando sono venuta, il TV era acceso e non c'era nessuno a casa, solo due gatti giacciono sul divano.
Mio marito, imperturbabile, fa:
- Non si preoccupi, signora, non è un male! Noi gli permettiamo di guardare la TV. Lo principale che non giochino i giochi al computer!

La scuola, una lezione di fila. Ma la maestra dell'inglese è malata, perciò al posto dell'inglese abbiamo l'informatica. Un tizio arriva 5 minuti di ritardo, ed entrato, comincia a dire in inglese le scuse per il suo ritardo. E di repente, vede l'insegnante dell'informatica, il quale al momento non era alla cattedra, ma fra gli alunni. Tace. L'insegnante:
- Hai sbagliato, abbiamo la lezione dell'informatica.
Tardato:
- Sì?
- Vedi? Così, ripeta cosa hai detto, ma stavolta in codice binario!

- Ragazze, care mie! Macché ssenso spendere tanti soldi per la biancheria intima bella, che costa una lira di dio? Lo stesso non la vede quasi nessuno! Otre, può darsi, di una persona. O di due, tre... ma al massimo cinque!

Sei diventato adulto, quando guardando un film porno pensi:
- Dio mio, e anche questa ha pure un padre, poverino!

Un affisso sulla porta del sex - shop:
E' vietato d'entrare con il Suo.

Su alcuni siti porno c'è una sezione: "Le ragazze vestite. Per sviluppare la tua immaginazione".

Un maestro di scuola domanda:
- Children, as it is called a being who can live both in water and on land?
- Sailor!

- Look, but are you sure that this beautiful knitted jacket that you bought, do not see the same on any other round?
- Sure! I took the bear because it was the last one in the shop!


The photos are from the portal AddFun.ru

Wwe Online Create Ur Wrestler

Colonel Kaddafi




A computer calls to the library:
- Can I talk to Katie?
- You are in the archive.
- The disarchivi please I have an urgent need to talk to her.

A friend of mine is on a business trip to Japan. He says:
Today I came to know that the control panel of a Japanese toilet bowl has n. 14 buttons, two of which are double. I feel like Conan the Barbarian. While inside the soul I feel a bit 'offended that it did not greet me or leave.

the evening, 23:30. They talk about mother and daughter.
- Elena, fell as your date with your boyfriend?
- Excellent!
- When were excellent mine, I came home the morning.

The Sultan of Oman made a series of shootings in his government.

A phone call to the radio "Alla"
- You can make a play for my friend the song by the Pugacёva "A real colonel!"
- What is the name of his knowledge?
- Colonel Kaddafi.
- No.
- And what a song, then I can give him?
- that of the group "B-2" - "Nobody writes to the colonel."

before the wedding do you think there is no better than her, before the divorce - that there is no worse than her. Wow! You are wrong both times!

The owner says the tenant:
- I have dried up and both the permanent night visits to her lover!
- Mah .. She also goes by? I did not know.

the last day of winter and the militia. Winter will return between 9 months, while the militia ...

Up to 17 years did not even suspect that the "Lollipop - licking" if they can enjoy ...

Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has guessed, that image will be elected as the talisman of the Olympiad - 2014. It seems that there appeared to be the new Paul prophesied.

there a mathematical proof of the fact that money is a Male: Make an addition of all the rated notes Russian: 5000 + 1000 + 500 + 100 + 50 + 10 = 6660:)

British scientists are satisfied that the saporizzanti agents and seasoned nature identical make you feel like the same as natural.

The man is destined to happiness like the leopard Olympics in Sochi.
["Man is destined to happiness as the bird is intended to fly" - the words of Katerina by Aleksandr Ostrovsky's drama "The Hurricane"]

The good people is necessary because the bad people still alive better.